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| Forgive me for borrowing the title from you, Tony. I'll give it back when I'm done  . A year and a half since I've written anything worth reading here. At least a year since I lost track of people on Xanga. I'm fairly certain I did so subconciously, with everything that happened with Ashley I didn't really want to associate with a site that reminded me of her. But that is in the past, and now I'm glad to return. I will still keep up my Myspace as well, given that most of my friends have migrated over there, but this will become my primary journal. I need to start writing again, even if it isn't something grand and epic. And this is the perfect place to hone my craft, I think. Less drama to boot. And I will mark my personal progress here as well. I've been cleaning up my life lately, so I think it would be good to record the milestones. Looking back on my last entries here, I see myself clamouring for change, reaching for it as though I were grasping for the stars. I want to keep myself honest to my promises, and here is the best way, (in my eyes,) to do so. Welcome to the food chain. -Matt J. Rios P.S... I'm going to be removing dead links and groups. If anyone doesn't want to be removed, let me know. | | |
| I'm turning Twenty-One.
I do admit that frightens me a bit.
I've
had an interesting couple of days leading up to it. They both amused me
and gave me quite a bit to think about in turn. My way of dealing with
people was called into question, and I readily admit that it isn't one
of my strongest attributes. Hell, it's alienated me from more than one
person I cared for... and it's taken just as long to get the
opportunity to earn some trust back.
And again, I take a look at
myself and see something I don't like. My life, my plans, never panned
out as it should of. But perhaps I shouldn't plan... shouldn't lay out
something that allows no deviation, something that could fall apart at
the smallest interruption. I had quite a bit of time to think - about
myself, my music, my writing, my everything. To think about everything
I don't really like about myself but never really bothered to change
for anything.
Change is something I constantly think about,
write about. And at times it's so close I can taste it. But instead, I
just shrink away, putting it off. Next time I'll do it for sure! This is the last time I eat crap! I'll call her tomorrow... But I think I found a moment of clarity these past couple of days -
I'm about to turn Twenty-One.
And I'm too old for that shit.
So
I'll take my leave with a warning to myself. To note this down that if
change is ever going to take hold, I need to call myself on it. I want
to do everything, be everything. To cultivate the talent I have and
perhaps make it into something worthwhile.
Twenty-One is an odd age to start living, but it has to start sometime.
-Matt Rios | | |
| Arrrggg...
Instructional Weight Training is out, unfortunately. I discovered only one person signed up for it - me. Thus, the class was dropped, and plain old Weight Training is in. At least I'm not missing out on too much.
My summer is going to look like this:
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday: Self-Paced Weight Training, 9am to 11:30am; Kickboxing, 12pm to 12:50pm; Work, 1:30pm to 5:30pm.
Tuesday and Thursday: Self-Paced Weight Training, 10am to 12:30pm; Work, 1:30pm to 5:30pm; and Yoga, 6:30pm to 7:50pm.
And in my off times, I have an Algebra Web Class to cram in.
Don't expect to see too much of me this summer.
-Matt Rios
P.S... Unfortunately, the temptation of the greener pastures of Myspace beckon. However, I don't think I'll abandon my first Blog. Expect to hear from me sooner than last time.
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| I am He Who Walks At Night
I wonder if the light is nigh;
I hear the Heroes of the world make right,
but see a broken sky;
I want to hold my pyre sprite...
-I am He Who Walks At Night-
I feign to be among the feared,
I feel the darkness touch;
I want the blight so tangible,
I warn of Night's blind rush,
I cry when conscience takes a life,
-I am He Who Walks At Night-
I know Never and its lure,
I stay to see the fight;
I dream of Monolith impure,
I try with all my might;
I hold the beast within it's fright,
-from I, the One Who Walks At Night-
-Matt Rios
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Passion Play
by Matt Rios
Empty space before the pyre,
cast alight the broken liar;
he denied the beating heart,
and alone he came apart.
Alone begins his passion play,
of lessons learned,
carved out of pain;
a monster roaring twixt the flame,
and never knowing of it's gain.
Fire's light and rubied kiss,
demon's eyes and ivory bliss;
As I lay burning soul to fend,
what was shattered can still mend.
Apart within the passion play,
of lessons culled,
and voices say;
passions fueled by wronged desire,
sated when we burn the liar.
Lie to me and bare your heart,
I see the soul, the guarded art;
frozen face and painted eyes,
behind the mask I hear the cries.
And it ends the passion play,
with lessons yearned,
and victim's reign;
the tears you hide to force my lie,
will force the truth to ask you why. | | |
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